Dentist

My Korean adventure is quickly coming to an end. In less than 2 months I will be heading home, putting an end to the overwhelming amount of new opportunities for Thomas Try Outs. While I am overly excited to be close to friends and family again, there are things I am not looking forward to. Being uninsured is a big one.

Although I've never had a cavity, I am not proud to say that I haven't been to the dentist in over 3 years. Coupled with no insurance, I never had any reason to go. Now that I'll be returning to my home country and paying for dental appointments out of pocket, I decided it would be a good educational and financial decision to give the Korean dentist a try. 

Aside from the price there is quality and quantity. It seems that every student's dream job is to be either a doctor or dentist and I think at least half grow up to be one. There are dentist offices everywhere. The one I chose was owned by the father of one of my past students. I made an appt. through a friend of mine and showed up at 9 AM on Saturday morning.

The office was what I expected from Korea. Shiny chrome, marble, and white. All of the dental assistants wore high heels and pencil mini skirts and giggled frequently. The waiting room was unnecessary as the assistants whisked us away one after the other. First I sat down at the front desk and had my blood pressure taken. I wasn't sure why and I should add here that Stephanie was going to have 2 wisdom teeth pulled at the same time as my cleaning. I started to fantasize about awful mix-up scenarios. 

Shortly after my blood pressure screening I was taken to one side of the office. I was a upset I didn't get the other side as it overlooked the snow covered city street through huge glass windows. Mine wasn't too shabby though. The equipment looked standard, aside from a Samsung flat screen TV monitor attached to the chair. They took pictures with a hi-tech camera of sorts and brought them out to me on an iPad. The dentist discussed that he would be scaling my teeth (not pulling) and it would take 15 minutes and cost $60. 

The scaling was a routine cleaning. Everything was typical except for the beginning and end. As the chair reclined into a horizontal position the dental hygienist covered my face with what looked like a donut for hemorrhoids sufferers. A hole in the middle surrounded my mouth as the rest of it blocked out any eye contact. I closed my eyes and imagined what a toilet bowl felt like watching someone put the seat down. But it was quick and painless. Afterwards she propped up her Korean to English dictionary and showed me a model of perfect teeth, asking me to demonstrate how I brushed. I held the over-sized toothbrush and put on a clinic of my own. She nodded in approval then held my hand and went over some new techniques to add to my arsenal. It was awkward because I'm 27 and she was teaching me how to brush my teeth. 

Then we were done. I complimented her English and she my Korean. I was honest and she a liar. When I went to pay there was more giggling from the assistants huddled together. The price was $10 less than the Dr. told me, so I thanked them and left. The no cavity streak continues and I can tell people what dentist offices are like in Korea. Win win.

Dentist, check

Calendar Shoot

This was not the role I envisioned myself having. I was supposed to be behind the camera, zooming in on bikini clad women, surrounded by white sand and blue waves. However, I was offered a different perspective as I tried on the role of the bikini clad coed.

This morning's kindergarten activities were all the same. Usually we offer an intensely diverse curriculum for our 3-6 year olds. Math, Language Arts, Science, Cooking, Geography. I kid you not, Geography. Well, there is a new semester coming up and preparations have already begun to woo new parents, so we had to switch gears a bit and focus on the prize ahead. That's how I ended up being a model for our school's new calendar.

Don't be fooled. I'm not overwhelmingly handsome enough to overtake all 12 months of 2013, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was Miss March and hopefully Miss September. All of the english teachers at our school were posed and prodded into photogenic positions. I like to think mine were a bit more memorable.

We'll start with my first shoot. The Art Class. I'm assuming each month will debut a class activity that our school offers. Phonics, Cooking, Science, etc. We don't actually have an art class currently but who's to say a handsome American face can't make that happen?

My kindergarten class and I were ushered out of our classroom and into a neighboring one. Inside, 4 easels were set up with a clean sheet of paper. In the center of the room was a lone table. My stage. I sat down on the table and offered poses I remembered from Will Ferrell's skit on SNL. The students began to draw, the camera snapped away, and I was in a Korean school posing for their upcoming calendar. Don't ever let anyone tell you dreams don't come true.

When I wore the camera out, I was headed outdoors for some fun in the sun. I would be shooting for the P.E. portion of our curriculum (also non-existent). Two miniature basketball hoops were set up opposite each other and a new class was gathered around me in between. My assignment was a tricky one. The ever elusive "action jump" shot. Hard enough with grown adults, but with eight 6 year olds...they needed a professional. I must have thrown the basketball into the air 50 times. The students mimicking the ball's trajectory, as I blankly smile and laugh at the situation. It was grand!

By the end of my second shoot, I was worn out. Those girls on America's Next Top Model don't have it so easy. Modeling is hard work! I was really thirsty too! But I wasn't about to let some other english teacher become Miss September! Not on my watch! On to the third shoot.

Science time. My third different class was again gathered around me and a portable gas range stove. Atop the stove was a 1.5 ft. metal tube. The idea would be to place a floppy tissue paper balloon over the pipe and turn the stove on. The balloon fills with hot air and floats to the heavens. The children cry with delight as I look down and pat one on the head saying, "Isn't science wonderful?"

We tried several takes to get this to happen but the closest we got was the balloon floating away and disappearing into the chilly November afternoon. One of the damn kids blinked and messed up the take so we had to try again. We took our second balloon and positioned ourselves in front of a much nicer background. The balloon was ready, the kids were feigning interest, and I turned on the stove.

The wind blew the tissue paper balloon over top of the metal tube, trapping the hot air and creating a fire ball that sent all the students running and screaming. The tissue paper went up in a flash as I tried to stomp out the flames like a mad man. The other teachers screamed in horror as a passing elderly couple looked on with growing intrigue. Luckily as fast as it caught fire, it was out and the only harm done was to my rubber Chuck Taylor sole.

Artist, Athlete, Scientist, Stuntman. Miss September.

Calendar shoot, check

Dry Armpits

This past summer was the hottest season of my life. It almost certainly wasn't the highest temperature I've experienced but it felt like it. I think I had too many internal stresses, pushing, pulling and radiating heat along with the humid, brothy atmosphere. The past three months wrecked havoc on a typically optimistic outlook of summers in general and my attitude towards pretty much everybody. A particularly bitter lens was slid in front of everyone and everything Korea. Alas they weren't my problem. Sometimes you need to look at yourself first and then your unsightly pit stains.

I've never thought of myself as a sweaty fellow. Sure I was one of the kids who tried hard in gym class and ended up sweaty but that was different. I was exercising my right to dominate you in dodgeball. Now however, just being awake and standing up outside is enough to create delightful halos of sweat beneath each arm.

I learned to deal with it as best I could. 2 shirts was mandatory if I was in an establishment that frowned on the party tank, otherwise that was my summer uniform. This past weekend I had a wedding to attend and had no appropriate summer clothes. I was left with very few options.

I owe it all to my friend. Anthony had been in my ear about his secret to beating the heat since I met him. He too had experienced an overwhelming surge of sweat since arriving and the constant "Ewww Dirty Teacher!" was enough for him to make a change. Anthony's secret was DriClor. It's the anti-perspirant to end all anti-perspirants! I was 100% sure it had cancer in it, so I avoided it for nearly a year but couldn't hold out any longer. I bought it the night before my friend's wedding. Bought it, applied it, and prayed.

That is past sweat not present sweat

That ladies and gentleman is a new man. Improved, confident, and dare I say sure? Sure of himself, sure of his new outlook on life, and sure that he may have cancer. But I ask myself is it worth it? Is it worth smoking cigarettes and being cool knowing what lies ahead? Is it worth eating that whole entire pizza just to prove it to...well nobody? Is it worth immediate gratification for long term heartache? I have no idea but I don't sweat when I stand outside anymore. Boom.


Dry Armpits, check

Migraine

I have two memories of migraines. Neither of them affected me directly, rather it was a friend and family member. I started to notice my friend Chad was not on the morning school bus, usually for a few days at a time. I was shy but observant and eventually asked about my friend's whereabouts. "He has migraines," a boy said. "Oh that's a headache," I thought to myself. "Chad baby."

My Aunt also had episodes. My mother too, but her sister's experiences I remember more vividly. She is a very quiet person, who could easily slip into the background of a raucous family gathering. When that was the case, often times it was because of a migraine. "Your aunt went to lie down upstairs," my grandmother would say. "Oh she gets to take a nap," I thought to myself. "Big baby."

Welp, last week I had my first migraine. Just Tried It Out cause I heard how much fun they were! And before I continue and forget, I want to apologize for my thoughts of apathy toward all migraine sufferers in years past. They suck.a.lot.

I was teaching my last class of the day, tutoring a 12 yr old girl, when I looked up toward the ceiling at my room's air conditioning unit. I caught a quick glimpse of the lights overhead and they stayed in my vision like staring at the sun too long. As they normally do I expected it to dissipate. Walking home I couldn't shake the hollowed out center of my vision, and I started to feel ill. By the time I got home the headaches had sunk in above and behind my eye sockets. Walking, seeing, talking, and hearing made everything worse. At this point Stephanie didn't know what was happening and I wanted to punch her every time she asked me a question.

I needed complete darkness and silence. I needed space. I needed an empty room in an empty house. I wanted this to stop. It was bad enough that work consumed my days, now it was creeping into my nights. I barely remember dinner and scarfing down two tacos under a dim, table lamp. Immediately I retreated to the bedroom and prayed for silence. When that did not work, I defied my logic and used my voice to ask Steph to search for remedies, cures, and potions. A long, hot shower later, the pain was subsiding and I had dozed off to sleep.

When I woke the next morning, my vision and head still felt off. Like a projector that's been bumped askew, I wanted nothing more than to be realigned. I tiptoed through the morning, knowing I had an 8 hour teaching day ahead of me. The thought of imminent and loud chaos was enough to put me back in I thought. However, I can safely say the migraine never returned and I hope it stays away. It made it's slow and debilitating point. I imagine the early stages of a python constricting your skull to be similar to a migraine. But maybe I'm just a big baby.

Migraine, check.

Korea School Cancellation

Yeah, yeah...kids freak when school is cancelled. I remember being promised flurries, looking out my window and having miniature seizures. Willing the clouds to snow more than the weatherman promised and release me from my horrible life of show n' tell, snack time, and one hour recess. Wherein I could watch Maury and play Sega Genesis in my pajamas until dinner. Of course if that failed I would dare the feeble mind of our Superintendent to prematurely cancel school. In that case, less snow was favored, as it proved I had won a battle of the minds from my bedroom window. 

Well now I'm a grown up. A grown up teaching English in Korea. I never thought I would feel that same joy ever again. Although I plan to become an elementary school teacher when I return to the US, I never thought I would experience a school cancellation in Korea. The land where education comes before physical exercise, healthy sleeping habits, and normal social interactions. Especially since I teach at an after school, um....school, called a "hagwon." Most students come here after school in case any of the aforementioned perils should attack them on their walk home. The stage is thus set for education to overcome even common sense.

As word got out that schools across the country would be closed as Typhoon Bolaven swung up towards the west coast of the peninsula, I sat and stared out my window. I wasn't willing school teachers or storm clouds this time, but wondering if I could slide out the crack of my 5th story window. After speaking to our manager I learned we would remain open until further notice. I heard open and my idiotic hope was crushed.

What's this? What's this? 

My phone's blinking on the chair! 

What's this?

A message sent with care!

What's this?

I can't believe my eyes.

I must be dreaming, or perhaps there's been an err!

What's this!

School's canceled and it feels unbelievable. 

Our manager sent us a message telling us to rest and not to risk the treacherous 400 m. to work tomorrow. I immediately high fived my girlfriend with my foot and thought of all I would do with my new day off. Not only that, but the positive changes it would have on the rest of my week. A 5 day work week becomes a 3 day pleasure stroll. An impromptu opportunity to shack up inside, watch movies, and like my childhood...play video games. Little did I realize how my teachers were enjoying the very same thing as I was. 

Korea School Cancellation, check.

Gyeongju

This past weekend I had 5 days off and wanted to explore Korea more than I have. I have been to all of the major cities and a few beaches during the warmer months. Gyeongju is a city on the east coast about an hour north of Busan. It's self appointed nickname is the "museum without walls," and I guess I could buy that. The downtown boasts several interesting destinations within walking distance. All or most of the sites showcase the ancient Silla dynasty and their Buddhist upbringing.

We stayed in a hostel in the center of downtown, which was great for walking through Anpaji Pond, the Tumuli, and seeing the observation tower. I think Stephanie and I were more impressed with the lotus pond. I don't think I'd ever seen lotus plants that big or plentiful. After a day of walking we looked for a decent restaurant around the hostel but found only chain restaurants. We settled for a so-so bulgogi restaurant, overpaid, and left to look for a bar.

There are none in the main city center. I was stunned. Luckily a blog I found let us in on a university area nearby that had everything we were looking for. We found a great pizza place believe it or not and had some beers outside on a picnic table. The next night we would come back to partake in some of the best dalkgalbi we've had in Korea and a convenience store that sold Vietnamese beer. If you're in the neighborhood I have a great street to recommend.

Our last full day in Gyeongju we got up early and headed for Bulguksa, Korea's most famous temple. On the outskirts of the city and on a mountain slope sits the Buddhist temple grounds known for it's seamless existence in the mountain. Beautifully laid out, I wasn't so amazed at the buildings as much as Kyoto's but the temple grounds were very nice. Above Bulguksa was Seokguram grotto, housing a huge white granite buddha. Sadly I couldn't take pictures but it was beautiful.

Great place to visit, some nice sites, good food, and only an hour from Busan.

Gyeongju, check.

Hard Bristles

Here's a fact for ya. Adam Thomas never had a cavity. My teeth hate 'em and simply won't give them the time of day. I owe it to genes or more likely an undying loyalty to my dentist Dr. Rocco. From Grandfather to grandson, our family has been trusting the Rocco's with our pearly whites. Dr. Rocco Jr. never let me down and always led me on a path of righteous smiling.

One cardinal rule from the Roc was the toothbrush bristle. It was either soft or medium. That's it. No fancy designs and mountain landscapes necessary, just buy the soft or medium bristle. I've stuck by those words all my life. Then I left my toothbrush at Mud Fest and had to buy one in Korea.

I had no idea what toothbrush I was buying. I went for a simple color, slight variation on the bristle size and position, but nothing too exciting. I didn't give it much mind and like many of you I thought "a toothbrush is a toothbrush." Well a few brushes in I've come to the conclusion that I broke the Roc's golden rule and have a grim future ahead of me. I got hard. Hard bristles.

Being hard isn't all 2Pac and 50 Cent fun. It hurts the ones you love the most. Every time I brush, it literally feels like my teeth are being moved around inside my gums. I can't even brush the front chompers without a numb tingling sensation afterwards. Poor guys. You fight off cavities your whole life and this is how I tip my cap to you. Just applying toothpaste with a jackhammer.

I thought hard bristles were reserved for grandparents with false teeth made from oak and cement. That's not for me. I have to change my whole brushing technique. I lightly sway the brush back and forth like I'm painting the happiest pine trees in a damn water-color. It's a hard knock life.

Hard bristles, check.

Boryeong Mud Festival

Stephanie and I were both saying that we haven't had this much fun in South Korea in a long time. To make matters better we were expecting it to be pretty stupid. We both passed on the event last summer. Jumping around in mud and wrestling US Army guys is just something I've grown out of.

The Boryeong Mud Festival is a yearly event in the coastal city that boasts a healthy, vitamin enriched mud. Originally, locals would come both near and far to rub the mud on their skin and thus be beautiful. Visiting teachers and other foreigners have since caught on and Boryeong has seized the opportunity for huge tourism dollars. They have since added a good music lineup (by Korean standards) of foreign artists. Akon and Infected Mushroom headlined this years event. As well as a side stage on the beach with local acts from across the country. All of this is not to overshadow the main draw to the festival. 


Mud Plaza is set up right along the beach, as old men and women carry buckets of mud to a number of troughs. Surrounding the troughs is a theme park of inflatable slides, bouncy rooms, and tunnels to highlight the muddy experience. We skipped the theme park because the lines were pretty long and just covered ourselves from hair to butt crack to toenail in mud. It was way more fun than I thought and I didn't have to get beat into submission by Private 1st Class Peter Chinchetta. 


For me though, the best part was the weather. After two and a half weeks of constant cloudy skies and monsoon rains we had a picture perfect weekend at the beach. The town itself reminded me of Jersey shore towns with the souvenir shops and restaurants dotted along the beach. One of the bands played some covers that would've made me do a double take for Mr. Green Genes. The ocean was unbelievably warm and everyone in the crowd was having a good and non-obnoxious time. Korea best!

Boryeong Mud Festival, check

Usher

"You make me wanna leave the one I'm with, start a new relationship, with you. This is what you do."

- Usher

    

 I still remember that video. West Side Story dance fighting at it's best. Sadly I did not meet Usher, instead I was an usher. For my hagwon's mathematics presentation for prospective Korean parents. A perfect Friday night.

The past month or so our hagwon has been desperately trying to sign up more students. The quintessential problem with our school and many others, it drives me crazy to waste time and effort trying to make more money than better students. I have solicited outside the hagwon handing out packets of tissues with our school's logo, called our students at home so their parents could see them speaking English to us, and last week we canceled classes with current students to attend a math seminar completely in Korean.

But the Thomas Try Out I would gladly take back over any other was having to usher one of these events. The event was held in a rented out 6th floor room. It had maybe 21 tables with 7 seats at each, nice table cloths, snacks and bottled water atop each. Typical Holiday Inn presentation room type stuff. When you came up the elevator and exited there was the table with sign-in sheet and information packets. Then there were your friendly white-faced Americans, ready to escort you on an evening of awkwardness.

Stephanie and I were asked to usher the prospective clients into a seat. They had no assigned seats thus making our job pointless from the start. I stood in front of them, hands behind my back, sweat coming through my t-shirt, gesturing to a table somewhere in the middle of the pack. They would always walk a few steps than go in the opposite direction, farther from the stage or right up front. I would walk back to my spot by the elevator and pray for death.

When most of the expected attendance never came, my duties were altered to include intrusive and light conversation with our seated guests. I would talk to them for a minute or so, until we both established how clueless we were as to what the other was saying. If their English was very limited I would suggest they have some of the complimentary refreshments on the table that they were already eating anyway. I was never happier to see the presentation start so I could sit down and put myself out of my misery.

Then of course we had to sit through an hour and a half of revolutionary changes to the Korean Public school math exams. We stayed 30 minutes longer than we were initially supposed to and almost missed a previous engagement with some friends that night. It was uncomfortable and pointless and I would've rather gotten dance-punched by Usher than ever do it again.


Usher, check

Korean Bathroom

Yes they have toilets. As far as I know most homes have a porcelain throne rather than the very un-American "hole in the ground." That's not to say you won't find them. I've seen one in a coastal town a couple hours outside of Gwangju. Seen it and used it. It was fun.

Public restrooms vary with the establishment. If you're buying international cuisine you'll have a remarkably clean john to sit on. Bus terminals and rest stops, surprisingly nice. Smaller mom and pop restaurants will typically share a public bathroom, usually outside and around the corner. More like what we're used to in a public restroom in the States. But I want to talk about my bathroom.

I've lived here for 15 months and 3 apartments. The powder rooms were all the same except in size. My current bathroom is the smallest of the three but similar to most of my friend's. Toilet, mirror, medicine cabinet, and shower head. However, there is no bathtub or shower curtain to divvy up some privacy. Making every bathroom adventure a get-a-way resort. All inclusive, baby.

Turtle-head Bay, Hawaii

It was hard to get used to but like a shower on a winter morning it took some warming up. Having a shower, toilet, sink all in one has several advantages. Aside from the teeth brushing/shower combo that many adult males already partake in, I throw in a little tinkle. Not in the shower like some savages, but right into the potty like a good boy. This can also work vice versa. Perhaps a particularly foul number two requires a total body clean up? Stephanie! Get the shower head, I need to be hosed down!

But why stop there? The entire bathroom can be cleaned while you're cleaning yourself. Mildew, soap scum, beard trimmings. Scrubbed and washed away with the all encompassing shower head. It can be problematic if someone is in the shower and a fully clothed person needs to use the restroom. But that's why we keep a slicker and rain boots by the door.

Korean Bathroom, check

*Thomas Tried Out

Soju

Imagine a perfect storm. What does it look like? Is it a doppler image on the weather channel? A fantastic movie starring Marky Mark? When I think of a perfect storm I imagine the living room of any 20 something foreigner here in Korea after discovering the bottle. This 12 oz. green, glass bottle can be found almost anywhere, costs only a dollar, and may be the most dangerous substance in the country. I'm talkin' bout soju.

Soju is the most popular beverage in Korea and more recently the world. You will find them on almost every table at every restaurant at every meal. If there's only one then it's probably a married couple out to dinner and if you see seven it's three co-workers out for lunch. I was stunned to find the drinking culture far more uninhibited here than back home. Koreans may be reserved about a lot of things but strapping on a pair of wastey-pants isn't one of them.

Soju tastes like a watered down vodka with a slight chemical after taste. It's not horrible by any means and Lord knows I've seen and drank much worse. It can be mixed with damn near anything and is totally unnoticeable. This is great and terrible all at the same time. One such mixture is Powerade and Soju, hence the moniker Poju (ironically "poju" means pimp in Korean). If the Poju mix still can't convince you to try Korea's best, then lucky for you there are several games that can be played after opening a bottle to ensure it disappears along with your memories of the evening.

The stuff can be brutal if you're not used to it. I brought a couple bottles back home with me last October and I remember everybody dancing and then just disappearing in front of my eyes. Vaporized! If you have no tolerance for it, it will reward you with the best hangover you've ever had. But I shouldn't give soju such a bad wrap. They also make school lunches much more bearable.

Soju, check

Thomas Tried Out

Dakgalbi

I had no clue what to expect when I came here. The only thing I heard was that they ate dog. They being all Koreans and dog being man's best friend. My vision of restaurants depicted my friend Kenny being quickly ushered behind an tattered afghan hanging on the wall to a red room in dim, red lighting. It was in this room where all Koreans ate their dog.

Unfortunately I have yet to find this room and taste this dog. I have however broadened my vision of what Korean food is and can be. My first meal here, right off the bus, at 10 o'clock at night, was a soup made of congealed blood. Not dog but probably cow. Since then I've had the luxury to try most of Korea's traditional dishes. And while there are too many to list and too few words in my brain to convey their deliciousness, I do have a favorite.

Dakgalbi is a dish, like many, cooked on an open flame right at your table. Diced chicken and rice cake ,marinated in a spicy pepper paste, sit atop cabbage and sesame leaves. The ingredients vary but I can only describe what's in my heart when I think of my favorite meal in Korea. The ingredients are heated up in a pan until the chicken is cooked and the leaves are withered. This is a gui dish so a bottle of cold beer or makgeoli compliments perfectly. Once you've finished about three quarters of the pan you ask for a bowl of rice with carrots, dried seaweed, and cheese. Cheese is a western twist since it is rarely used in any Korean dishes but it makes this comfort food even more cozy.

The dish is reheated and mixed with the remaining chicken, rice cake, and leaves until everything is covered and marinated in the chili pepper paste. The second course is ready to go after a few minutes and your bill will probably come to $6-7 a person. Knowing you just ate perfection for the price of a Burger King value meal is the best dessert you could ask for.

Dakgalbi, check

Thomas Tried Out

Name a Child after Kevin McKeever

Without debate, one of the true bright spots in Korean hagwons, is the power to bequeath English names to your students. In my experience it's mostly done when the students are young, Kindergarten and early elementary, but the bulk of my naming was done with 2 - 3 year olds. It can get awkward when you're naming a teenager. To avoid it you just need a really sweet all-American name.

I haven't had as much fun with this as some of my contemporaries. My friend Kenny got pretty silly naming little Kim's and Lee's, Rex, Cliff, Tyrone, and Lesean. Note the Philadelphia sports references. However, some one within our ranks as educators and leaders managed to bring a Rapunzel and Penguin into this beautiful world, showcasing his/her naming rights in grandiose fashion.

I kept mine simple. Thomas, Billy, Justin, and Chase (my last name, as in Madison, Steph's brother, and my baseball hero). Yesterday however I was approached with a challenge. A new student from the wrong side of the tracks but with the right intentions. A challenge named Min. This name is by far one of the easier names to pronounce in hangeul but at the request of our school manager he should be given an English name. And bestow the name I did.

Min is tall for his age. 10 or 11 most likely. He has dark eyes and dark skin. From first impressions he is very intelligent and speaks/reads very well. He is terribly shy however, and I needed to give him the perfect name. A name to make him forget about his troubled home-life and the separation between himself and his peers. I could see there was a magical caged tiger in Min's eyes, waiting for his true powers to be revealed.

As a test, I presented Min with several names to choose from. I wrote them on the board in purple marker, the color of royalty. Drew, Kenny, Josh, Dave, Pete, Kevin. I read through the names once and looked for a response. Min was quiet. I read them again and asked the class which names they preferred. Drew, Josh, and Pete elicited laughter. Kenny was supported by one girl in the class and Dave was ignored. When I read "Kevin" a second time, there was silence. Then like flowers blooming from the earth, hands reached up. One after another until Min's hand confidently shot toward the sky. "Class," I said. "I'd like you to welcome a new student.  His name is Kevin."

I walked toward my desk and slid open the top drawer. I reached in and pulled out a sawed off pool cue. Walked up to the magical tiger and tapped his right shoulder, left, and the crest of his head.

Name a child after Kevin McKeever, check

Korean Taxi

Some future posts will be in the past tense, as in Thomas Tried Out. I want to write about so many Korean firsts that have already happened. Some yesterday, others months ago. I reason with myself that when I started this I was bored at work and needed something interesting in my life. Now that I teach, every day is too new and interesting, hence the hiatus and eventual recap of past Try Outs. Today's is one such experience.

Like Philadelphia, Boston, NYC, etc. the taxi is a staple of any Korean city. They have taxis in Korea! Not as slick as Japanese taxis but not as grime as Philly. Yet in most ways, the taxis here are better than the ones back home.

It's not so much what Korean taxis have. More so what they don't have. No bullet proof glass, no ghetto junior high tags, no arguing about paying with a debit card and no vomit or pee-pee stench in the nostrils. However. The cabs in Korea are literally immune to traffic violations of any kind.  I'm talking going through red lights, cutting across 3 lanes to make a left hand turn on red, and there are no stop signs here. None.

To be fair, I owe a lot to taxis. Some of the first hangeul (Korean) words I learned were turn left, turn right, go straight, and take me home. Mah-jay-oo-chay-gook Poong-am-dong Kah-choo-say-OH! Translation:  Let's go to the post office in Poong-Am Neighborhood. 


Yippee!


I have yet to ride in a cheaper, cleaner, better taxi in all my travels. While the loss in translation can be frustrating at times, the solitude and soothing ajusshi tunes make for a peaceful ride home.

Korean taxi, check.

Pop Up Bowl

Yesterday I received a care package from my family. Inside were necessities and niceties. Deodorant, Easy Mac, Dunkin Donuts Coffee, and stickers for my students. However, one item combined practicality and extravagance, completely catching me off guard.

I'm speaking about Orville Redenbacher's hottest popcorn variety. Since my childhood I have not found a more satisfying late night snack then a bowl of popcorn. Feels light and healthy but when done correctly is covered in synthetic buttery taste. Needless to say I was delighted when the care package was topped off with 8 or so bags of snacking glory.

They do have popcorn here in Korea. Most mom and pop corner stores even have the microwavable bags, but wow are they behind in their popcorn technology. No flavor, no synthetic butter, no jumbo kernels! So, while Korea puts all their best and brightest into electronics, automobiles, and terrible pop music, snacking falls by the wayside.

Then along comes Mr. Orville Redenbacher. The Prince of Popping Corn. Bowtie and suspenders just doing the damn thing. Redenbacher says "The game need changin."

Boom!

A microwavable bag that when finished, rips open at the top, to reveal one less dish in your kitchen sink. Honestly ingenius. I tried just ripping open one end of bags before, but after covering your arm to elbow in butter grease the only humanly decent way to snack is pouring it into a bowl. Now there's no bowl. No looking in the cupboard or pantry, wasting precious popcorn time. Orville wanted you to be snacking on his delicious popping corn as fast and easy as possible. Mission accomplished Mr. Redenbacher.

Pop Up Bowl, check.

DMZ

The main attraction of South Korea is the DMZ. If anyone tells you different they are a liar and shant be trusted. Despite the high profile tourist recognition, most of my friends who have been teaching/living here fail to see it. Not I said the cat.

I went to the DMZ this past weekend with Steph. A brief introduction about the DMZ, here. We left the Lotte Hotel in Seoul at 11:30 and drove NW along the Han River. About halfway along the river loses it's parks and recreation areas and adopts high chain link fences and razor wire. A few km down outposts are stationed every so and so distance, with soldiers and their automatic weaponry. I was not expecting a militaristic atmosphere so soon.

After we had lunch we continued and passed through a touristy area showcasing the Freedom Bridge and other less notables. We re-boarded the bus and finally came upon checkpoint Alpha. A ROK soldier scanned the bus and permitted us through. The bus crawled forward and swerved between steel barricades set up to deter North Korean tanks and tourists with motion sickness.

Once through our bus idled outside the main gate, waiting for a soldier to escort us the rest of the way. After about 10-15 minutes a Sgt. Lt. or someone with the last name Guerrera walked down the aisle and checked our passports. No threats were found on board so we proceeded. Through more razor wire fences and mine fields to reach Panmunjom and the JSA.

We were strictly told no pictures at this point and to line up in 2 rows. It was the scariest field trip I've been on. We were led into and through a building with ROK guards sternly frozen behind clenched fists and Ray Ban aviators. The air was humming with intensity. Up a stair case and out to the famed border with North Korea.

I immediately noticed the North Korean soldier across from us. Binoculars to his eyes and like our ROK soldiers, immovable. Guerrera pointed out the different buildings in front of us and we were then free to snap pictures. Finished we headed into T-2, a building where talks/negotiations between the two parties are held. Once inside we were free to walk into "North Korea." The building was situated half in South and half in North. Seeing as how we rented the room for the day we were able to roam around while being careful not to bump into any of the ROK soldiers on guard for our protection.

The tour ended shortly after and we finished up our trip to the DMZ. It was as intense as I'v heard and I'm glad Steph and I were able to experience and learn a little about the on-going sibling rivalry of these two nations.


DMZ, check.

Embarrassed I haven't kept this blog going through the most adventurous and exciting period of my life. Korea offers a new and often bizarre experience every day and they need to be chronicled in daily, witty Thomas Tryouts.