Hard Bristles

Here's a fact for ya. Adam Thomas never had a cavity. My teeth hate 'em and simply won't give them the time of day. I owe it to genes or more likely an undying loyalty to my dentist Dr. Rocco. From Grandfather to grandson, our family has been trusting the Rocco's with our pearly whites. Dr. Rocco Jr. never let me down and always led me on a path of righteous smiling.

One cardinal rule from the Roc was the toothbrush bristle. It was either soft or medium. That's it. No fancy designs and mountain landscapes necessary, just buy the soft or medium bristle. I've stuck by those words all my life. Then I left my toothbrush at Mud Fest and had to buy one in Korea.

I had no idea what toothbrush I was buying. I went for a simple color, slight variation on the bristle size and position, but nothing too exciting. I didn't give it much mind and like many of you I thought "a toothbrush is a toothbrush." Well a few brushes in I've come to the conclusion that I broke the Roc's golden rule and have a grim future ahead of me. I got hard. Hard bristles.

Being hard isn't all 2Pac and 50 Cent fun. It hurts the ones you love the most. Every time I brush, it literally feels like my teeth are being moved around inside my gums. I can't even brush the front chompers without a numb tingling sensation afterwards. Poor guys. You fight off cavities your whole life and this is how I tip my cap to you. Just applying toothpaste with a jackhammer.

I thought hard bristles were reserved for grandparents with false teeth made from oak and cement. That's not for me. I have to change my whole brushing technique. I lightly sway the brush back and forth like I'm painting the happiest pine trees in a damn water-color. It's a hard knock life.

Hard bristles, check.