Soju

Imagine a perfect storm. What does it look like? Is it a doppler image on the weather channel? A fantastic movie starring Marky Mark? When I think of a perfect storm I imagine the living room of any 20 something foreigner here in Korea after discovering the bottle. This 12 oz. green, glass bottle can be found almost anywhere, costs only a dollar, and may be the most dangerous substance in the country. I'm talkin' bout soju.

Soju is the most popular beverage in Korea and more recently the world. You will find them on almost every table at every restaurant at every meal. If there's only one then it's probably a married couple out to dinner and if you see seven it's three co-workers out for lunch. I was stunned to find the drinking culture far more uninhibited here than back home. Koreans may be reserved about a lot of things but strapping on a pair of wastey-pants isn't one of them.

Soju tastes like a watered down vodka with a slight chemical after taste. It's not horrible by any means and Lord knows I've seen and drank much worse. It can be mixed with damn near anything and is totally unnoticeable. This is great and terrible all at the same time. One such mixture is Powerade and Soju, hence the moniker Poju (ironically "poju" means pimp in Korean). If the Poju mix still can't convince you to try Korea's best, then lucky for you there are several games that can be played after opening a bottle to ensure it disappears along with your memories of the evening.

The stuff can be brutal if you're not used to it. I brought a couple bottles back home with me last October and I remember everybody dancing and then just disappearing in front of my eyes. Vaporized! If you have no tolerance for it, it will reward you with the best hangover you've ever had. But I shouldn't give soju such a bad wrap. They also make school lunches much more bearable.

Soju, check

Thomas Tried Out

Dakgalbi

I had no clue what to expect when I came here. The only thing I heard was that they ate dog. They being all Koreans and dog being man's best friend. My vision of restaurants depicted my friend Kenny being quickly ushered behind an tattered afghan hanging on the wall to a red room in dim, red lighting. It was in this room where all Koreans ate their dog.

Unfortunately I have yet to find this room and taste this dog. I have however broadened my vision of what Korean food is and can be. My first meal here, right off the bus, at 10 o'clock at night, was a soup made of congealed blood. Not dog but probably cow. Since then I've had the luxury to try most of Korea's traditional dishes. And while there are too many to list and too few words in my brain to convey their deliciousness, I do have a favorite.

Dakgalbi is a dish, like many, cooked on an open flame right at your table. Diced chicken and rice cake ,marinated in a spicy pepper paste, sit atop cabbage and sesame leaves. The ingredients vary but I can only describe what's in my heart when I think of my favorite meal in Korea. The ingredients are heated up in a pan until the chicken is cooked and the leaves are withered. This is a gui dish so a bottle of cold beer or makgeoli compliments perfectly. Once you've finished about three quarters of the pan you ask for a bowl of rice with carrots, dried seaweed, and cheese. Cheese is a western twist since it is rarely used in any Korean dishes but it makes this comfort food even more cozy.

The dish is reheated and mixed with the remaining chicken, rice cake, and leaves until everything is covered and marinated in the chili pepper paste. The second course is ready to go after a few minutes and your bill will probably come to $6-7 a person. Knowing you just ate perfection for the price of a Burger King value meal is the best dessert you could ask for.

Dakgalbi, check

Thomas Tried Out

Name a Child after Kevin McKeever

Without debate, one of the true bright spots in Korean hagwons, is the power to bequeath English names to your students. In my experience it's mostly done when the students are young, Kindergarten and early elementary, but the bulk of my naming was done with 2 - 3 year olds. It can get awkward when you're naming a teenager. To avoid it you just need a really sweet all-American name.

I haven't had as much fun with this as some of my contemporaries. My friend Kenny got pretty silly naming little Kim's and Lee's, Rex, Cliff, Tyrone, and Lesean. Note the Philadelphia sports references. However, some one within our ranks as educators and leaders managed to bring a Rapunzel and Penguin into this beautiful world, showcasing his/her naming rights in grandiose fashion.

I kept mine simple. Thomas, Billy, Justin, and Chase (my last name, as in Madison, Steph's brother, and my baseball hero). Yesterday however I was approached with a challenge. A new student from the wrong side of the tracks but with the right intentions. A challenge named Min. This name is by far one of the easier names to pronounce in hangeul but at the request of our school manager he should be given an English name. And bestow the name I did.

Min is tall for his age. 10 or 11 most likely. He has dark eyes and dark skin. From first impressions he is very intelligent and speaks/reads very well. He is terribly shy however, and I needed to give him the perfect name. A name to make him forget about his troubled home-life and the separation between himself and his peers. I could see there was a magical caged tiger in Min's eyes, waiting for his true powers to be revealed.

As a test, I presented Min with several names to choose from. I wrote them on the board in purple marker, the color of royalty. Drew, Kenny, Josh, Dave, Pete, Kevin. I read through the names once and looked for a response. Min was quiet. I read them again and asked the class which names they preferred. Drew, Josh, and Pete elicited laughter. Kenny was supported by one girl in the class and Dave was ignored. When I read "Kevin" a second time, there was silence. Then like flowers blooming from the earth, hands reached up. One after another until Min's hand confidently shot toward the sky. "Class," I said. "I'd like you to welcome a new student.  His name is Kevin."

I walked toward my desk and slid open the top drawer. I reached in and pulled out a sawed off pool cue. Walked up to the magical tiger and tapped his right shoulder, left, and the crest of his head.

Name a child after Kevin McKeever, check

Korean Taxi

Some future posts will be in the past tense, as in Thomas Tried Out. I want to write about so many Korean firsts that have already happened. Some yesterday, others months ago. I reason with myself that when I started this I was bored at work and needed something interesting in my life. Now that I teach, every day is too new and interesting, hence the hiatus and eventual recap of past Try Outs. Today's is one such experience.

Like Philadelphia, Boston, NYC, etc. the taxi is a staple of any Korean city. They have taxis in Korea! Not as slick as Japanese taxis but not as grime as Philly. Yet in most ways, the taxis here are better than the ones back home.

It's not so much what Korean taxis have. More so what they don't have. No bullet proof glass, no ghetto junior high tags, no arguing about paying with a debit card and no vomit or pee-pee stench in the nostrils. However. The cabs in Korea are literally immune to traffic violations of any kind.  I'm talking going through red lights, cutting across 3 lanes to make a left hand turn on red, and there are no stop signs here. None.

To be fair, I owe a lot to taxis. Some of the first hangeul (Korean) words I learned were turn left, turn right, go straight, and take me home. Mah-jay-oo-chay-gook Poong-am-dong Kah-choo-say-OH! Translation:  Let's go to the post office in Poong-Am Neighborhood. 


Yippee!


I have yet to ride in a cheaper, cleaner, better taxi in all my travels. While the loss in translation can be frustrating at times, the solitude and soothing ajusshi tunes make for a peaceful ride home.

Korean taxi, check.

Pop Up Bowl

Yesterday I received a care package from my family. Inside were necessities and niceties. Deodorant, Easy Mac, Dunkin Donuts Coffee, and stickers for my students. However, one item combined practicality and extravagance, completely catching me off guard.

I'm speaking about Orville Redenbacher's hottest popcorn variety. Since my childhood I have not found a more satisfying late night snack then a bowl of popcorn. Feels light and healthy but when done correctly is covered in synthetic buttery taste. Needless to say I was delighted when the care package was topped off with 8 or so bags of snacking glory.

They do have popcorn here in Korea. Most mom and pop corner stores even have the microwavable bags, but wow are they behind in their popcorn technology. No flavor, no synthetic butter, no jumbo kernels! So, while Korea puts all their best and brightest into electronics, automobiles, and terrible pop music, snacking falls by the wayside.

Then along comes Mr. Orville Redenbacher. The Prince of Popping Corn. Bowtie and suspenders just doing the damn thing. Redenbacher says "The game need changin."

Boom!

A microwavable bag that when finished, rips open at the top, to reveal one less dish in your kitchen sink. Honestly ingenius. I tried just ripping open one end of bags before, but after covering your arm to elbow in butter grease the only humanly decent way to snack is pouring it into a bowl. Now there's no bowl. No looking in the cupboard or pantry, wasting precious popcorn time. Orville wanted you to be snacking on his delicious popping corn as fast and easy as possible. Mission accomplished Mr. Redenbacher.

Pop Up Bowl, check.

DMZ

The main attraction of South Korea is the DMZ. If anyone tells you different they are a liar and shant be trusted. Despite the high profile tourist recognition, most of my friends who have been teaching/living here fail to see it. Not I said the cat.

I went to the DMZ this past weekend with Steph. A brief introduction about the DMZ, here. We left the Lotte Hotel in Seoul at 11:30 and drove NW along the Han River. About halfway along the river loses it's parks and recreation areas and adopts high chain link fences and razor wire. A few km down outposts are stationed every so and so distance, with soldiers and their automatic weaponry. I was not expecting a militaristic atmosphere so soon.

After we had lunch we continued and passed through a touristy area showcasing the Freedom Bridge and other less notables. We re-boarded the bus and finally came upon checkpoint Alpha. A ROK soldier scanned the bus and permitted us through. The bus crawled forward and swerved between steel barricades set up to deter North Korean tanks and tourists with motion sickness.

Once through our bus idled outside the main gate, waiting for a soldier to escort us the rest of the way. After about 10-15 minutes a Sgt. Lt. or someone with the last name Guerrera walked down the aisle and checked our passports. No threats were found on board so we proceeded. Through more razor wire fences and mine fields to reach Panmunjom and the JSA.

We were strictly told no pictures at this point and to line up in 2 rows. It was the scariest field trip I've been on. We were led into and through a building with ROK guards sternly frozen behind clenched fists and Ray Ban aviators. The air was humming with intensity. Up a stair case and out to the famed border with North Korea.

I immediately noticed the North Korean soldier across from us. Binoculars to his eyes and like our ROK soldiers, immovable. Guerrera pointed out the different buildings in front of us and we were then free to snap pictures. Finished we headed into T-2, a building where talks/negotiations between the two parties are held. Once inside we were free to walk into "North Korea." The building was situated half in South and half in North. Seeing as how we rented the room for the day we were able to roam around while being careful not to bump into any of the ROK soldiers on guard for our protection.

The tour ended shortly after and we finished up our trip to the DMZ. It was as intense as I'v heard and I'm glad Steph and I were able to experience and learn a little about the on-going sibling rivalry of these two nations.


DMZ, check.

Embarrassed I haven't kept this blog going through the most adventurous and exciting period of my life. Korea offers a new and often bizarre experience every day and they need to be chronicled in daily, witty Thomas Tryouts.